It’s All Coming Back to Me Now Breastfeeding Parody


Soooo, breastfeeding sucked for me the first time around. I mean, like, really really sucked. Three torturous months of no sleep, 2 cases of mastitis, over supply of milk, leak pads, cabbage leaves, carrying breast milk everywhere, shitty bras and SO much pain. So I wrote a parody on the subject since now, I have baby #2 on the way and it’s inevitably “all coming back to me now”.

Here’s the story behind the video, if you’re interested:

My first born, Alfie, was born with tongue tie, a small water bubble under the front of his tongue that didn’t allow for him to latch on to my breast. Because of that, I pumped. The tongue tie disappeared after a week or so, but he was already used to the bottle, so he never latched on after that. No worries, since I was still providing breastmilk.

I kept pumping and pumping and pumping at the suggested intervals and after a month, I was tired. I was ready for all of this to be over. I had already gotten mastitis and the pain and leaking was just intolerable. I hated it. However, because of the mastitis, I couldn’t just drop the whole thing, or take a magic pill and be done with it. I had to wait another two weeks with antibiotics for the mastitis to clear out and then wean out, which would elongate the process further, much to my dismay. So I went with it. Continue reading “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now Breastfeeding Parody”

Oh sh*t! My Toddler Locked me Out of the House!


There are plenty of mom wins, and there are probably even more mom #fails. I, as a new mom and trying to navigate the world of toddlerhood, have had bumps and bruises here and there and I am happy to share this particular one riiight here. Enjoy.

On an incredibly hot and humid summer day, my 2 year-old and I were in the house hanging out. He was watching TV as I was prepping our dinner and taking care of some kitchen TLC. The trash can was full (and stinky), so I made my way to the backyard to empty its contents.

As per usual, I make sure my son is preoccupied with something (in this case the TV) and then I walk out the sliding door. I shut it behind me, walk a brisk 12 steps each way, and make it around the corner of the terrace in a nice, quick, painless manner.

Only this time, as I’m on step 3 after dumping the trash bag, I hear a familiar “click” sound. I immediately recognize it as the sound the sliding door makes when it is locked or unlocked. “Oh sh*t!” I said. As I take another 2 steps to round the corner, there he is. My little innocent Alfie, with his hand on the sliding door lock, simply smiling back at me. “No way” I said to myself. I quickly tried to open the sliding door and of course… It was locked. He had locked me out…making matters worse, I had just turned on the toaster oven. Continue reading “Oh sh*t! My Toddler Locked me Out of the House!”