The response to my blog post about Becoming a Baseball Wife was astounding! It really is incredible how showing vulnerability and imperfection openly manages to reach deep into the soul of others. This is especially true in an age where every #selfie and Facebook profile picture has been carefully tweaked to show your “best self” (I’m no exception). It’s impossible not to think that everyone else has got it together and you are the only one that’s dragging behind (again, I’m no exception). This is why I want to share the following story with you.
My birthday was this past Sunday March 30th. The Monday before my birthday, my husband comes home with a gift bag and a Happy Birthday song. He then says, “I don’t know if I’ll be here for your birthday, so just in case, I want to celebrate with you today!” While some would feel devastated to hear this, I, on the other hand, melted in his arms. That’s incredibly thoughtful of him and I was not expecting it at all. He went on to explain that he suspected his upcoming work trip would be extended and he didn’t know when he would return home. I gladly agreed to our Monday pre-birthday celebration without hesitation and with the same giddiness as if it were the actual day. We ordered pizza, watched Disney’s Frozen, drank wine, talked and of course I sang “Let it go” and “First time in Forever” a million times while pirouetting through our living room. Typical.
You see, as I mentioned in my first post about being a baseball wife, my husband’s work frequently inhibits him/us from attending special occasions, from planning anything months in advance or committing to certain plans. I’ve had my fair share of pitiful remarks or head-tilting looks when I show up to dinners, parties and events by myself. I was also that girl in high school who didn’t mind showing up to parties on her own. I guess this was the universe’s way of preparing me for my future. Even though I do wish my husband could go with me to every event, I don’t allow myself to fall victim to the circumstance. Instead, I chose to hold my head up high and have fun regardless.
Was it difficult to get used to? Of course! There were moments when I didn’t understand why he had to leave with such short notice or why he wasn’t able to book our Thanksgiving holiday plane tickets in September. Sometimes I would cry and others I would get angry. However, as time passed I started understanding the dynamic of his job and it all started making sense. Our conversations about the subject were key in helping me understand the reasoning behind the volatile schedules. All of a sudden, I found myself as an active participant with a supportive role in his baseball world. My husband really enjoys his job too and there is no way in heck I would ever want to take that away from him. That’s why he needs me on the same page. (FYI: Men need equal amounts of support as we do, ladies! Just because they are boys it doesn’t mean that they are immune to insecurity, doubt and fear of failure!)
So on the morning of my actual birthday I get a FaceTime call from my hubby. I was so happy to see his face! I love technology! We spoke and laughed and it was the best gift of the day. This FaceTime conversation wasn’t any different that the others but I guess that when your spouse travels so much, every call feels like a special moment. Am I bitter that he wasn’t present on my birthday? Absolutely not. It’s not about my birthday or any particular date. It’s about the constant love and support that we both share. That’s how it should be each and every day.
Some couples get to see each other every day and others have more extreme circumstances where they have to endure deployments to unknown destinations in high risk areas of the world. What I’m trying to say is that while each couple’s journey is unique, every single relationship requires work and adjustments along the way. If you’re willing to support each other unconditionally then there is hope and certainty that you’ll thrive.
Thanks for reading!
Have you gone through a similar situation? I’d love to connect with you and hear your story! Leave a comment on this post or contact me through HERE.